Episode 929: James Jones – Critiquing Neanderthal Art – Radio Free Nintendo

Oh man, where do I even start? Maybe with the aurochs? Yeah, that old thing—kind of overrated, if we’re being honest. So, cave art—especially around Montignac-Lascaux—mostly made by Magdalenian folks. Think modern humans doing their artistic stuff maybe 20,000 to 10,000 years back. But hey, Neanderthals? They doodled on caves too, like eons before modern humans stepped in. Spain’s the spot where we got proof of their finger scribbles—way older ones, with handprints and dots all over. But if we’re talking about animal drawings, they sort of missed the memo. Their art? Kinda sucked.

Anyway, think I’m just pulling stuff outta my hat? I dare anyone to check if I’m spinning tales. Imagine me pointing, daringly… you get it.

Now, picture me as an art critic, not one with a Neanderthal brow and a beret. Maybe something like Hot Tub Time Machine but, like, actually funny.

This week’s headline: Jon snagged a Switch 2 from the clutches of bestbuy.com. Naturally, he’s got thoughts on everything from the console to that Mario Kart game. It’s like, every player out there—probably including my grandma—is getting whomped by a gazillion red shells. Jon’s crashing and burning amidst them—strangely soothing.

And then, out of the blue, Splatoon’s got a single-player thingy coming out. Go figure.

Stuff spirals from here. Not sure how to explain—I mean, this show is kinda a mystery to me too.

Need to chill for a sec, but, duty calls, folks. And call it does—Guillaume’s on about F-Zero GX on the Switch 2. He’s all murder this and destroy that in Valfaris, a shoot-‘em-up with monster guns and beasties. Sounds about right for him.

Greg’s nosing around the latest Switch 2 patch for Splatoon 3. Talk about HDR and frame rates till cows fly home. Me? I’m doing free PR for Nintendo—like they owe me now.

Oh, and me? I’m on the Switch 2, diving into Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time. So, time thieves—met a few in life, like kids and auditors, but a kid thief? New one for me.

Oops—lost my train of thought. Anyway, haven’t gotten far yet. We’ll see how that goes by next week, unless life throws a curveball.

Feel free to submit your Stone Age doodles, people.